ntroducing the new facial hair depilatory cream from Bliss, a ’stache remover that makes every other hair removal method seem ancient.
Mustaches are tricky accessories to pull off. They somehow flatter both virile Midwestern cowboys and stern Middle Eastern diplomats—but on us, they’re not so fetching. In the past, we bearded ladies have tried countless ways to free ourselves of our embarrassing upper lip fuzz that left us red, swollen, and burned. But now we’re turning to the innovative Bliss ‘Fuzz’ Off Facial Hair Remover Cream. The new citrus-scented hair removal cream eliminates unwanted facial hair in just three minutes painlessly (it’s formulated with soothing vitamin E and aloe to minimize irritation). Plus, you can also use it on your chin, cheeks, and hairline. “At Bliss, we are hair removal pros, and depilatories are a great alternative to other facial hair removal options,” says Sandra Lemmerman, Associate Vice President of Global Brand Development. “The cream works to dissolve visible facial hair, so that you can easily wipe the removed hair and cream off your face for a fuzz-free upper lip.” Here, we look back on the primitive and malodorous hair removal methods of the past with pleasure—not pain. RENEE TRILIVAS
Abrasives: Ancient Egyptians, Greeks, and Romans reportedly buffed dull stones (like pumice) over their skin to sand away fine facial and body hair.
Threading: This ancient technique uses a looped thread to pull hair out at the root. Today, it’s typically used to shape eyebrows.
Depilatory: Ancient Turks used a pungent chemical mixture of arsenic trisulfide, quicklime, and starch to dissolve hair at the skin’s surface.
Waxing: This infamously painful and still-popular hair removal method involves spreading melted wax over the skin and stripping it off to remove hair at the root. The ancient Egyptians (some of the earliest waxing enthusiasts) used liquefied beeswax.
Sugaring: Although it sounds sweet, this hair removal method from Egypt is actually just a milder version of waxing. It uses a mixture of water, sugar, and lemon juice (sounds more like a virgin cocktail than a hair remover, no?) that was smoothed over skin and pulled off with a cloth strip.
Tweezing: Sumerians and Romans reportedly crafted tweezer-like tools by pushing two sharpened rocks or shells together to pluck out undesirable hair.
Shaving: This is one of the quickest and least expensive hair removal methods, and thus, one of the most common. However, regrowth appears fairly quickly since razors can only cut hair at the skin’s surface.
Electrolysis: This technique uses a thin metal needle to zap the base of the hair follicle with a low electrical current to destroy tissue and prevent future hair growth. Although results are permanent, sessions can be time-consuming and expensive.
Laser: This non-invasive treatment uses a laser light and heat to target and damage hair follicles and slow growth. More data is needed to classify the results as permanent and effectiveness varies with different skintones and hair colors.
When presented with these options, a simple cream sounds all the more promising. Here’s hoping Fuzz Off becomes a franchise: Swimsuit season is coming!