February 9, 2010
Roses are red violets are blue…but long story short:
Valentine’s Day is a lame holiday. Think about it. Red roses? Cheap chocolates in a heart-shaped cardboard? Satiny lingerie? Romance?
Sweetheart Sunglasses: Wear your heart, on your–er, face with these Lolita-esque, sugary shades. These plastic sunnies come in four “delish” colors: red, pink, black, and white.
Plush Heart: Take this holiday a little less serious and a lot more literal with this smiling, cushy stuffed toy in the true shape of this blood-pumping organ.
Boo Boo Kisses Adhesive Bandages: Remember when you used to fall off your bike due to your poor coordination skills? And your mommy used to kiss your scraped knees to make them all better? These bandages are the sexified version of that. These luscious lips come in a four glossy shades: hot magenta, vivid orchid, poppy orange, and ruby red.
Heart Ear Bud Headphones: Turn up the volume of some not-so-sweet tunes (early Alanis Morissette anyone?) with these quirky ear buds. They come in eight different styles including plump hearts and red-hot lips.
Ex-Factor Bath Bomb: Still not over your that awful ex of yours? Then Lush has created the perfect vanilla-scented solution. Rip this poor guy to shreds; he’s kind of like a fizzy voodoo doll full of essential oils instead of B.S.
Lady Bug Truffles: Sweet-tooth still not satisfied? Break out the chocolates, but trade in the convenience store candies for these little confectionary creatures. They come in two tempting flavors: strawberry and chocolate or raspberry and chocolate.
So, this Valentine’s Day skip the frills and all that cutesy nonsense, and get quirky.
Published by The Quad: http://buquad.com/2010/02/09/my-funny-valentine-gifts-for-your-anti-valentine/